Monday, April 30, 2001

yeah
my other best friend
who i have not seen in a year and 5 months
is here
he is here
and there is social tension in the atmosphere here

i have not talked to him live yet
other people are pressurizing me
i wanted to get away from that
don't talk
...................................

abercrombie shirts for girls sucks
sbb setiap kali angkat tangan
sure ternampak aper yg tak patut nampak
huh
*pakai ngan overalls next time or ngan 3/4 sleeves*
.........................................................

macam2?

none

.....
last nite i could not sleep
because i slept during my study time
when the real time come
i can't sleep
but i think you know that's not the only reason

well
today we are expecting thunderstorm
and i have to change clothes
from the ayu the baju kurung
to the seluar plastik and kemeja abercrombie
plus
a reversible flowery jacket

and have class at 2.30 till 4.30
then work from 4.30 till 7.00
then go home
and try to start studying for final
yes, i said try to, not must
hehehehhehe

the funny, unstable news is
er ist im Minneapolis
deng
suddenly everything rewinded back
when i have no solid, real things to look at
just memories in shades and in mind

.......................................................

Sunday, April 29, 2001

like someone out there
i have had my "nervous" moments too
like now

worry-some friends

....................................................................

anyway
my guestbook is doing not fine
dunno why

happy day

cerita kelakar

ader org tak reti pakai hair remover
tertaruk kat rambut plak
abis botak
satu patch rambut kat atas kepala
terkosong tader rambut

hehehehheheheheheh

sian dia

.................................................

Friday, April 27, 2001

ich nicht understand
why ich nicht liebe undere persone
ist ich nicht same mit dem?

ich nicth liebe feeling liebe das

why?
why?

..............................................

on the other side,
there are people who are enjoying themselves

.......................................................

my muscles are aching
especially on my back
and on my thigh
urggghh
it feels like
i have not work out in a while and suddenly
jump to a heavy start workout

but i did not do that
all i did was
did my laundry
that had not been done for 3 weeks
maybe that's it

tonite
graduation nite
propably wearing the black ( and jarang ) baju kurung
maybe
maybe not
sbb tudung biru nie dah kene minyak smlm
hishh
kene iron tudung baru

hari nie pakai baju kurung lagik

was noch etwas zu eine(m?) tage!

aufwiedersehen!

*actually, i babbled about my baju kurung i'm wearing today, but blogger did not like that*

life?
going pretty well
though heard someone saying
i am more tembam then last time they saw me
( not true, but in front of my mom,
let's pretend it's true, else she will feed me NO! )

someone says i am more weirder than usual
ain't i already weird?
dude I AM WEIRD
admit it
fast!
( don't choke though )

(but not as weird as this writer person here )

DE dah siap
ader hw ME
response to robot show
wost paper final ( the least is 6 page, this time I AM REALLY DEAD )
and
carik transport how to get to Chicago O'hare
since nak amik flight gi london kat situ
hmmmmm

nak beli kete
tapi tak sure
$ 700
1987
tua dah kete tuh
ntah

well
later!


Wednesday, April 25, 2001

hahaha
very funny Writer Mister

day is over
robot is done
judges had judged
don't think gonna get high points

though one judge relate my robot to his experience
working in a paper factory
he has the same problem
the keep changing torque
and unbalance bearings

i am glad i am understood

else
need to go to leaderquest last meeting
before "graduation" ceremony this friday
mak: dpt invitation letter?
most of my leaderquesters parents is going to be there
since break is just around the corner

feelings?
straight line
nothing
tired
tak makan aper2 since last nite
really concentrating on my robot making
passion, if done
goes above all limitations kan?

one more funny story
remember that women studies paper
15 minutes before class?

i got an A again for that
she said it was veery impressive paper
duh!

i don't get it!

paper tuh tak direview langsung
grammar, jgn citer
rasa cam tongkang karam

----------------------------------------

resume?
rasa cam nak postedkan online jer
kyoung rae was looking at it
and criticized few stuff
made some changes
she said " it's a senior skills"

true

penat

esok kene study DE cam nak mati
sbb exam friday
hapak tak sentuh lagik
abis la kali nie
no more lucky charms
unless there is hope somewhere

my TA emailed
" see me tomorrow "
but that was yesterday
so, i guess he is not GLAD i am not there
he knew i need some help

language skills?
had torn off
can switch between 2 languages
but having trouble saying what i mean
it's usually saying what sounds nice
meaning " my own langugae "

duh

ooouuuuoooooo!




Monday, April 23, 2001

it was raining
she is hungry
she is in a hurry
it was cold

she stepped down from the campus connector and started walking
fast
and she decided she needed to be faster than that
she started running
the rain was pouring on her face
her shoe was not allowing her to run any faster than she is now
it was cold

her wedges shoe was making noises as she ran faster and faster
she has to stopped
there were people walking in her way
and the traffic light is red
she had to wait

once the traffic light changed
she ran again
towards that red building
aiming to get there in less than five minutes

she climbed up the stairs
trying to catch up her breath
and at the same time glanced to her wrist watch
her ears felt like breaking off from her head

she arrived there
and sat down
with sweat on her back
and rain drops on her face
and her jacket
she was gasping for air

then she left again
this time to another place
she did not run because her leg is aching
she kept walking in the rain
down the stairs
on the hallway
in the rain
into the puddle of water
up the stairs
third floor

she was there

the guys said she can't come in
she was late

she was about to burst into tears
and politely said "thanks"

and left
down the stairs
on the hallway
down the stairs
and slammed the door

took of her backpack
she took of her jacket
sat down on the toilet bowl
grabbed toilet paper
and cried
and gasped for air
and cried
and sobbed

no one was there

one part of herself saw she cried
and said
you can't cried for something you can't changed
it does not make sense
it is not logical

but she kept crying
for something she was unsure of
why
was she crying for
why was she so upset
she thought
she needed to let go
though she can't understand why

the other her
who also did not know why she cried
kept trying to stop her from crying
come on
it's okay
pls stop

then she stopped
she stand back
put on her jacket
grab her backpack
look into the mirror
and clean her red face

* i think she is fine now, at least i hope she is *


Sunday, April 22, 2001

the fact that i am proud accomplishing the retreat
is unbearable
my head is spinning
and my body, well, i feel healthy
no probs
( alhamdulillah )

the fact that the retreat created bonds among friends
is making me vulnerable
hate making friends
cause i know i'll be losing them
( the current best TWO? both is attached, waiting time to let go ... )

the fact that Dr Seuss book "oh, the places you go" touched me
is making me more confused
where am i going ( say it again )
hmmmmmphhh
travel?
secret life? ( mine is to be a house-maid, ahaks )
stay in school my whole life? ( last option, unless the real world is REally cruel )
where again?

the fact that my homeworks is waiting for me
err..don't make me feel anything?
is wrong ( logically )
is right ( emotionally )
deng
dong
ding

*bila nak abis time keje nie?*



firewalking
speeches
people
bon fire
that's what i've been doing all weekend

the best: fire walking
dude,
i WALKED on fire
and it was like walking on nothing
well, it was HOT
but, yeah, it's okay
i don't burn or anything

seminars was fun
purposes
decisions
volunteering
( oh, yeah )

next year i am going
to get myself attached to something
propably something a little bit more than
LeaderQuest
ie student government
i dunno
i'll work it out

but
works is tones
and driving me nuts
i am backt o the real world
with my robots and C++
and math exams

too much
i don't even know if i can ever survive

wish me luck!




Thursday, April 19, 2001

walking to school
thinking about my tutoring students
i got four
all first graders
cam jaga tadika

muhammad farah
like his name
is really "farah"
farah come from the word "farhun"
which means happy

muna
she is easily distracted
but easily memorize things
both farah and muna is from somalia

azizah
like her name
she looks and behave like a "hight" ones
she is soooo adorable
she is from palestine
you can imagine how cute they are

ashraf
reminds me of my brother aizat
from palestine
very hardworking
but quiet
and usually play on his own

--------------------------

hmmmmmmmmm....

remind me of my school days
1987

Wednesday, April 18, 2001

allright
with the help of one dollar saw
i managed to cut few birch woods in
the restroom of my dorms

finally
the usage of my kemahiran hidup classes
soldering
gergajiiing
electronics
and mechanics

errr...
tired
tapi ader meeting mlm nie
utk retreat this weekend
hmmm

later!

Tuesday, April 17, 2001

sometimes i don't really mean what i've said
neither what i've written
and so, don't give much damn about it
like i have no life at all except this blogger
( well , actually, i don't )

----------------------------------------
the above statement is
as a result of watching a movie
that contain too many four words in it
sorry

my ticket is all set
just waiting for it to arrive in my mailbox
hmmmm
tired?
quite
but i am fine
all happy
all smiley

my buddies
both are catching up with their finals
they gor only one more week
i got 2 weeks and 3 days before finals
can't hardly wait

i began feel like i hate attending the women studies class
it just sucks me out
hate it

met advisor
i have 2 choice
grad with 2 majors ( ME and IE )
or take co-op and grad with working experience
and have to wait till fall 2003 to graduate
little bit late

so, which would you advice me to take?


Monday, April 16, 2001

hehehehe
kak max
ed is smiling ;)

belive it or not
it is SNOWING
and IT"S APRIL
and I BROUGHT THE WRONG JACKET!

huh
hate it

but i am smiling
got meetign at 7 at Jess's house
the campus retreat is this WEEKEND
next week
i will be welcoming myself to my own created HELL

huh
SI NAKAL
call me ..hehhee..nak say thanks sincerely for the ****

and
and
there is more work waiting

counting how many nights i dreamt of home?
this semester: 4 times mimpi balik umah
dari airport to home

huwaaaa

Sunday, April 15, 2001

tensennyer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mood tadak
perut bloated
rasa nak ngamuk jer!!!!

huwaa
keje byk
keje byk
keje byk
keje byk

sigh

camna nie?


still waiting fot things
radioshack and axman tutup sbb easter
smlm dah kepenatan carik apartment
penghabisannyer
duk ngan Jeni ngan Andrea ngan Kyoun Rae
in 3 bedroom apartment
so today gi tgk

keje byk lagik
gatal beli sandel baru
hehe
mentang dah nak summer nie

robot tak siap lagik
c++ ader 42% lagik
DE exam lagik 2 weeks
so boleh relaks
paper tak buat lagik WOst

hmmmm
tgh wonder aper GPA sem nie
jahat tak?
mampus la dpt aper pun
janji happy
senang hati
hehheehhe

usha graduate schools
eh ader integrated program
engineering and management

hmmmmmmmmmmm

Saturday, April 14, 2001

there is one thing going on here
that i don't wanna write about
since my MOM will be over worried
hehehehehhe
( intriguing without explaining :) )

hmmm
robot tak siap lagik
balik tutoring pagik nie
carik apartment
then buat *tooot*

then balik
buat laundry
lepak depan PC nie
mewonder mana la peginyer fiel yg Josh kasik
nak buat biographies
iskk, masa nak buat takder,
masa nak tak nak buat, ader

paper wost
tak mula hapa lagik
ader saper2 nak kasik motivasi
di kala2 kebosanan nie
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

wondering what is missing here

Lina, i got socks here
hehehheheh



Friday, April 13, 2001

weather report
the sky is blue
missisipi river is flooding
traffic is bad
construction is everywhere
buses are running late
birds chirping in the middle of the night
hmmmm
suddenly warm
when it should be snowing ( yes, snowing )
and showering

road is dusty
people is quite impatient everywhere
homework is inline

have not done a thing

for peopel who studies DE
remember:
increase power of x to every non homogeneus solution
according to the right side of given equation.
kalau tak
marakah = 0
tensionnyer!


Wednesday, April 11, 2001

have not written in days
past this 3 days
i stayed at school till like 2 am
finishing my Pro E thingie
the last assignemnt

skipped 2 classes this morning
one class might not worth skipped
because he might
have started on the new chapter today
good news though
because yesterday
i got my one to one tutoring about introduction
to that chapter

and the other class
we could not have learn anything new
heheh
because the final project is going on till
2 weeks from now

i am tired
but we are alsmot there
just need to hang in there!

take a deeeeeppp breath!

Monday, April 09, 2001

my sleeping pill bugs me all day
i hate it
i took half of that crap to get so sleep
and it makes me sleep all day
but i did not miss class
just miss the talking in class
:)

this is going to be a REALLY honest thoughts
i figured out now WHY i did not learn
nor take driving licencse in malaysia
because it is EXPENSIVE
here, more or less, you have a car
and car is way cheaper here too

and know how to drive
( just get your mom or dad )
and take the written test
which is ONLY about RM 50
and take the practical test
( and i don't think it is more than RM 100)

you CAN get your license

as far as i remember
in malaysia
it costs around RM 600
( this is the number when i last left malaysia,
one and half years ago)
because of the class hours requirement
and DRIVING in malaysia IS
a measure of WEALTH
( i don't believe this at first, but now i do )

the fact it came to my common sensical is
when i was giving out presentation in school
there was a "culture" brochure that
very much describe things
i did not notice i practice and believe in

one of the description goes like this
" owning car is a measure of wealth in Malaysia"
i was mad
at first
now that i look back
yeah, i WOULD not be able to afford a car
if i am in Malaysia now
it is TOO expensive
( the skill and the thing to drive )

wait till i am done with school
( but takmo la hutang2 nak beli kete )
sigh!
enough thinking!





Sunday, April 08, 2001

today
woke up late
have to to work
and figuring out how to finish Pro E
else
i may take amilin's copy
sebagai balasan programming
hehhehehehhe

thoughts:

do i look like a problem solver to you?
lately, too many things had been happening
and everyone is coming for my ears
(mentang2 la ears nei free :) )

tader la mengomplen
tapi ader la jugak
hehehehehe

----------------------------------------------

location: Mechanical engineering lab, Silicon graphic machine
time : 1 am
# people : 5

pro E assignemt is due tomorrow
and for the first time
there is 4 sheets of engineering drawing due
and pretty much
one sheet need more than 3 hours to be finished
with more than one potrusion and more than one cut
and chamfering and rounding
because this is the ultimate proof
of how far your design skills is
to apply for co op and intership
it was the first time
i saw none of the pro e machine is empty
24 hours a day

man: " it's already midnight, aren't you going home?"
girl: " na - ah, need to do the explosion view"
man: did you do the key way?"
girl: " i did, but with the wrong dimension, can't figure out how to suppress the other system
i gave up"
man: "this is so time consuming!"
girl:" yeha, but i like it, it's better than reading books and memorizing things"
man:" but we have other things to do"
girl: " i like it, it make me fall "deep" into it and having fun even though the whole thing can go wrong, you can always try again"
man: "yeah, later baby, i am DONE with this"

this is what i am going to do

Mechanical engineering, System and Design

Saturday, April 07, 2001

my first experience driving
it was Chevy Blazer, 4WD
and automatic
and on the left side of the road

Erika decided that i need to know how to drive
so, yesterday bwfore going to Sari's party
she picked me up at EECsi ( i was finishing my ProE there )
and we headed off to her housing are
and changed seats

the feeling?
not bad
she said i am a good driver for a first time
i turn left and right
and also make a turn on an end street
(u turn?)

got some coffee
pick everybody else
and headed to Richfield
Sari is having a party for her
second degree black belt in taekwando

definition of party varies
this one
is a family like party
about 9
we left
and headed to Anthony's place
to watch a movie
what a house for a guy
heheheheheh

got back in my room around
1.00 am
talked to kyoung rae till
3 .00 am

sleepppppp

Friday, April 06, 2001

atthalj alazraq---Arab
blau Eis Würfel--German
blueicecube--english
aiskiubbiru--malay

azul hielo cubo---spanish
bleu glace cube--french
blu ghiaccio cubo--italiano
azul gelo cubo--portugesse

some language learning here.

---------------------------------------------

smlm terbaca pasal kak zira buka puasa best2
jeles plak
ed posa gaks
tapi buka dlm klas ( lagik )
snickers ( mini bar ) ngan coklat reese
ngan air water kooler
tragis
dan sedih

today
found out that i can work 20 hours per week
hehehe

got 2.5 extra hours
becos john got some frat work to do
( he does look like someone who is in fraternity,
way too cute to be a "normal" student )

byk nyer keje!!

leaderquest retreat is in 2 weeks
paperwork melambak2
-ed incharge buat folder and biography
robot lagik
final projek c++ lagik
exam 3 DE lagik
paper wost lagik
huwaaaa

end




Thursday, April 05, 2001

i am way too late for class
set up alarm at 6.09 am
never woke up till the phone rang
it was the computer company
and it was 9.25 am
class started at 9.05 am

now
waiting before i can catch the TA
during his office hours
we have a Quiz in the lecture tomorrow

need to go to Ax-man
to buy some robot stuff
need to start building one today too
and need to calculate the torque
and yada yada :)

meine beste frieund
i had a BAD dream last nite
has anything happen to you this week?

hope everything and everybody is okay

smile!

Wednesday, April 04, 2001

last nite awin kasik one sweet hadith
but lupa nak copy
but i got this one mailed to me
by dailyayatservice

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
006.AL-ANAAM.032 What is the life of this
world but play and amusement? But best is the
home in the hereafter, for those who are
righteous. Will ye not then understand?

do you feel better?
my opinion
things that happen in life IS related
yesterday, the same day i found someone's wallet
and return it
i lost my watch at the same time

amazingly
i don't feel bad about it
maybe because the 2 good things that happen yesterday
and it kind of cover one another

today
the person who found my watch
emailed me and return it back
wow
that is soo wonderful

last nite
i had a reallt 'tough' conversation
which is too complex to be explained
and kind of related to me
personally
and i don't think i can discuss it with anyone

got to go
ader homework due in one and half hours


Tuesday, April 03, 2001

is everything that happen to you is related ever?
like to balance out your "good luck"
you will have a "bad luck"
or things just happen?

any answers?

Monday, April 02, 2001

too many things happen in the begnning of the day
that almost ruin my mood

flashback

i leave early today
even had breakfast
even solat subuh awal pada waktunya

but since the traffic is SOOO bad
because of the bridge is being repaired
ala, the bridge acrossing misissipi river
the other side of the bridge is open to 2 way traffic
causing it to jammed

also added by the fact that
there is so many construction along the sidewalk
where we usually wait oft he bus
heiyaaa
i have to walk back 2 and half blocks
to get to class
sooo menyusahkan!

so tak best!

------------------------------------------

school is OKAY
mom, i DID NOT skip any class
hehehehheheheehh


Sunday, April 01, 2001

one of the guy who brought his digicam send this this morning
his name is Vincent Li-Shin



my host dad is the one standing on your left, his name is Larry Muenchow



find me!, this is in front of minnesota international center



yg pakai baju kurung, duduk kiri skali, with spectacles is chyi and the girl with a black blouse and black hair is stefani . both are from malaysia studying at Southwest State University.