( this is due to my homesicknes in four languages that i known..eheh..practice make perfect!)
meine familie

ich habe vier geschwester( not including me ). zwei junger schwester und zwei junger brudder. mein vater und meine mutter arbeit sebagai kerani im der universitat national auf malazia.

askunu fi bandar baru bangi. i grew up there since i was born till i left my home for boarding school wenn i war 16 jahre alt. meine eltern nicht gibt their children to go to boarding school at 13 jahre alt.

ana uhibbu usrati jiddan. waktu kecil-kecil dahulu, ed baik ngan ayah dari ngan mak sbb mak ed ader prob kesihatan sket, so i rarely see her when i was young. ed adalah anak tunggal untuk usrati for 6 years.

antara memori paling best masa kecik2 dulu was time2 posa nie la. abi yakra'u al-furqan bakda kharaja min surau al ehsan ( the nearest surau to my house, 5 minutes walking distance). hua ist pious to me. masa dulu, dia selalu jadik muazzin kat surau, so me and my mom will be waiting at home, before waktu semayang, nak dengar saper yg azan. i guess sejuk hati seorang isteri dengar husband dia azan kat surau :)
kan mummy kan?

wa zeit morgen ( sahur ), ich nicht gern stehe im morgen. ummi will suap me in my sleep on the dining tisch :P neat huh?
sekarang kene bangun sendiri, masak sendiri and makan sendiri2, sedih!

pastuh, time buka, ummi kuche gutten esen. never the dish for today is the same as yesterday, yum yum yum. al an, ich habe kuhen vof schule, und the essen ist simple und nich spesel as ummi always did.

meine mutti gern anak2 dia ta'alim more than one language. thus, wenn we were young, we were sent to tahfiz and study quran, tafsir, hafazan, arabic, and fikh and hadis. ich tak suka pegi skolah agama, bosan!

dah sekarang baru sedar, yg aper mak ayah kater tuh selalu betul, skang baru rasa berfaedah la pegi skolah agama, amik bahasa2 lain, dan banyak
lagi la benda2 yg derang suruh. dulu masa kene suruh, selalu malas nak ikut, takpun, ponteng klas..eekke:) naughty me:P

ha, man hua komen uber meine journal?..unless your're quadrelingual like me, ekekekkek...( no, i'm not over it yet! )
this is one of the reason i'm a debater, i'm really defensive und protective und schon madchen!

the day started unluckily. i miss the east bank circulator on my way to school ( i said it was unlucky because i got groupd quiz today! ).and i was 5 minutes late for my next exam which is calculus 3 on the west bank..

you must be wondering how the campus like. well, the twin cities name itself refer to the 2 main campus, one in st paul and one in minneapolis. and i am in minneapolis.

minneapolis campus is divided by the missisipi river, so they are named after which side of the river they are in, west bank or the east bank. most of the technology and science classes are in the east bank, however, the scheduling office decided that students need to walk around the school, so they tried to make all the recitation section from the math department to take place at the west bank. and that is why ich habe to run from places to places this morning.

and today is registration day, and alhamdulillah, i got the classes i wanted except for one: reading short stories, which is the graduation requirement class. i am not, repeat, not a humanities/art/bussines major, thus i am not good with my words and expression, i can give figures and numbers to dictate my emotion, and now i am practicing my communication skills through writing.

( this got something to do with the notes in the guestbook writen by "me")

i am not an english major
nor i am an arts major
nor my SPM english is A1
nor that i feel my english is good

just that so you know, that if you don't like reading my english,

IT'S F***, DAMN, A*****E( cukup letters tak?, spellkan please) , NON OF MY BUSSINESS!
(keep it to yourself, no one need to listen to you here, because this is not, repeat, not YOUR PAGE!, please!)
hahahhahahahahaahhahahahahhhahahahhahaahhahahahahhahahahahahahhaahahahahhahaha

by the powerful and dogmatic and cute and genius and choleric webmaster

p/s camla bm yg di gunakan is real BM, :P

i lost my earphones tonite, and zaza lost her calculator..here in this house ( aprtment actually), so was it misplaced or stolen?..we don't have the answers yet.

last nite while i was updating my journal, i was using it on y cd player, listening to ABBA. i left it here near the computer cart. after that i went to bed, but i can;t remember whre did i left my cd player and my earphones before i went to bed.

and this is not the first time we lost electronic gadget in the house. the first thing we lost was our tv remote control. luckily after we bought a vcr, we can program the tv using the vcr remote..

zaza thinks that all the missing stuff went to our garbage bag, near the kitchen counter. i have a feelign that once we started to move and pack our stuff around the house before moving into the univ apartment, all the missing things will be found..what da ya think?

just woke from sleep after iftar, i never knew i was that tired everyday. i simply dozed off once i put my head on the pillow, hei, those freaky doctors ( sorry max!) are damn right, we get tired, i never believe that it is true...

imagine all those days i got back from school at 7 pm the least or 6 the most, how tired my body is, and today i got back from the school the earliest, breaking fast 30 min after got back from school and i can dozed off as soon as my heah hit the pillow..wow, imagine if dozed off on those hectic nites!

i just realized that i need some rest, but i have no time..one group quiz, oen calc exam and one aufsatz ( essay) german, i don;t think i derserve a rest, at least not today and tomorrow!

friday, another exam is on the waiting, and work till 5 pm, where is rest?..alhamdulillah my body is not aware that it nees ome rest, thank god that my spirit ( semangta la ) is stronger than my sleep deprivation and rest!

weekend you said? impossible, i got another exam on monday and that aufsatz is due that monday, it is worth 5 points from final grade, amazing!

and if got more than 85 points before final, i don;t have to take the final ( for german), and as far as i am concerned, that would help a lot as i can concentrate on the other three paper and stil get an A for 4 credits out of 16 credits.

alamak, betul kate zira, ednyer template dah membeso, ke kanan dan ke kiri, or maybe sbb ed pakai browser nestcape, sbb last nite masa ed edit template and vide guna ie, takder ler sebeso nih,

camner aaa?

and i have deleted yesterday blog regarding puppy love. lucky zira she managed to read that. i think the counter hit 8 yesterday, so along zira there must be few other people who managed to read that..

all of sudden i felt segan plus ntah aper2 when i talked about my feelings over the blog. something hits me saying that this is lame, too lame ot be poster over the web :P

todai is the third day of Ramadhan, still fasting and still terawihing ( erkkk..sounds werid huh? )

and i have one more lecture and one lab before the schedule for today is over.
and today is my turn cooking break fast dinner. any suggestion what i should prepare?

( mesto korang pelik apsal tiba2 juornal ni jadik bahasa melayu, sbb ader permintaan and one more thing, bulan puasa nie, dia berazam utk di melayukan )

rite now, it is snowing heavily outside, seronok tgk snow flakes beso2 tuh dgn pelbagai bentuk and pelbagai size. i think you guys sure tahu the fact that snow flakes tak penah ader yg same shapes or figure, subhanallah kan, punya ya banyak flakes tuh, tak penah di jumpai yg identical yet..

and skang nie keje, and buka posa kat tpt keje, so sat tadik gi McD, beli filet and hot tea utk buka lagik 20 minutes from now..( 4.34 pm )

ader satu citer pasal tpt keje ed nie: everyday, ader sorang homeless guy nie akan dtg library nie and tgk video or dgr record..and video2 yg dia watch tuh, sumer ttg org2 famous yg ed tak kenal pun, tapi knowledge pakcik nie ( homeless guy nie akan di panggil pakcik dlm perenggan2 seterusnyer )..sgt la hebat. kalau skali dia bertanya kat ed, byk ed takleh jawab sbb ed tak kenal org2 yg glamer2 dlm history writing or music or world history himself..segan!

kalau dia pinjam video, dia takder ID Univ, so dia guna kad yg diberi oleh bandaraya minneapolis yg declare dia nie resident satu park kat downtown, :(..sedih kan?
and waktu ed gi science and engineering lib arituh, nampak dia guna komputer, carik buku..dlm hati ed terpikir, apsal dia nie, homeless, baju buruk2, and smelly, buleh ader knowledge yg kiter yg ader rumah dan berbaju bersih, malu la!

and tadi dia tanya ed pasal islam, pasal muslims facing east, i said it's not east, cause if a muslim is in north pole, he or she would be facing south!..dia punn gelak..and so cerita pasal kiblat..dia kater dia tgk movie lon of the desert and read some stuff about islam..and will be asking more info about it to me..:)

aper2 la..skali baru ed terpikir, apsal kiter kene mengadap kiblat aa? apsal kiblat tu sginificant, selain dari lambang unity umat islam satu dunia? naper mekah di pilih sebagai tanah suci and not other places...so it's my mission nak pi carik jawapan sblm org2 bukan islam tanya....ader sesaper nak tolong?

akhirnyer, berjaya jugak paham chapter 15.2 and 15.3...line integral and conservative force + potential..akhirnyer setelah 2 hari dgb 2 buku teks, satu solution manual paham gak ed ngan multivariable calculus nie, ishh!

nak komen sket, buku edward penny tuh, saper penah guna, buku teks rasmi u of m, tapi, tak best langung, best lagik teks calculus anton yg guna kat ppp tuh...kat sini, asyik refer anton tuh la,,cuma tak laratnyer, anton tuh berat dia 4 kilo ( ader someone penah test beart dia )...yg si edward tuh separuh berat kot...

nak exam nie, posa lagik second day. esok keje and nak pi beli tiket flight gi DC sbb raya sana tahun nie. bersama2 ed nanti Shasha, girl from Russia yg baik ngan ed kat sini, Ayu, budak atu2 satu2nyer yg gi John Hopkins U kat Baltimore, very talented girl, lawa plak tuh, and both my ex roomate yg kat ppp dulu ( blok 12 siswa, bilik 412)..aida and nany yg skang study kat wisconsin madison U

since ari tuh last minit baru decide nak balik mesia, tiket flight sumer dah abis dah...so sedih la, anyway, dulu2 janji ngan ayu nak jumpa dia once dah sampai US, sbb dia dtg US nei lewat sket sbb JHU tak terima student time spring, so dia dtg sini lewat satu sem dari kiterang. tapi takper la, dia dah duk sini since kecik sampai form 3 baru balik mesia. amik pmr, masuk mrsm pc, masuk ppp, dah balik semula dia ker US nie...

tapi, sejak Azizi merajuk ngan ed, ed igt plan tuh dah tak jadik dah..sbb dulu zizi baik ngan ed..pastuh biler dia mention sbb dia kawan ngan ed, ed terus takleh terima...tak suka org simpan2 perasaan nie, segan!

aper la sgt nie org nak minat, tak paham la..kawan2 dah la...

anyway i'm still too young :)
my 19th birthday is coming in 11 days ...hik, dah tua dah..

mak selalu citer pasal my birth, i like kot the story..because out of her 5 times pregnancy, i am the only yg survive...and 6 years after that baru dpt adik, and adik and adik and adik lagik ...so skang ader 5 siblings aa...hmm..my mom selalu kater,
"kalau along rasa cam nak give up something, cuba pikir pasal mak masa mak ilang anak2 mak, mak tak give up pun kan?"

hik, mmg betul pun...kan?

well, hari nie buka nasik somalia ( cam rasa naik baryani la ), lebih2 dari budak2 iowa and wisconsin dtg hari tuh..and masak sket2 lauk2 lain..since kak zie ( isteri abg ghazali, architect yg convert islam 10 years ago, baru kain 2 years, penah keje kat mesia ), ader sini sbb abg ghazali gi MA, dia la masak :)

so, lepas buka, gi klas German till kul 8.50, balik, solat isya' and terawih, si Shasha, budak RUssia tu telepon..mas tuh tgk rakaat 6..so pi la layan..sbb dah lama giler dia tak return my call, risau la kalau2 dia sakit ker aper ker, sbb kiterang close aa..dia nak ikut ed gi raya kat DC tahun nie, nak tgk camner muslims raya katernyer..

kawan dia si Laila yg selalu bawak ed pegi beli ayam tuh, baru convert 2 months dah...dia kahwin ngan pakistani, si shasha nie selalu teman si laila gi islamic center..ntah, kalau baik kang, ader rezeki, tambah la kiter ngan sedara baru!

alhamdulillah, today is my first fasting day...and we had our sahur when malaysians are breaking their fast :) interesting huh?

well, last nite after i got back from work, i met my senior who is going back for good this coming winter. she is graduating and did not plan to go for grad school here. we talked on how people changed when they got here to the state...like forgetting the basic things as Eastern people and began to act like Westerners with Malay attitude..

and i have been here only for 11 months now ( how time flies when you are having fun !)

and then i got back, rest from the coldness, not really cold, i think about 32 F, which is 0 c and is warm enough, i can survive without my gloves!...then clean up and semayang terawih,

yup, i managed to solat terawih by myself. i remember when i got here last spring, the same thign happen, because all the other girls are having their raya on the day i was fasting, same goes this year...:)

one of my roomate promise me that after her raya days are overm she will be praying terawih wth me :)

i wanted to go to masjid or surau, but it seems none is nearby and it's damn cold outside and we dont; have cars ( yet! ). out of 40 malaysian students here, only one guy had a car, the rest of us depend on other busses and our own legs to get around.

and it's the way we lived around campus now that make the saperation distance big. we girls live to the south east campus, whereas the guys live northwest of campus ( salah ker betul nie, saper tahu? )..nearby the guys house, there are a lot of masjid around, where as where the girls live, there are a lot og highway around!...

PERSISMA tak buat meeting lagik, since pyan got back from leadership conference kat dc by m'sian embassy. so we have not yet laid any plans for terawih and breakfasting together on weekends. though skang nie hard time, 4 more weeks to go before final, so many exams and so many assignements...

wish me the strength to keep up the terawih!

allrite, finally ISNA ( islamic society of north america ) annouce fasting date, which is tomorrow, November 27 2000. and so, tonite we will having sahur and break fast at 4.30 sometimes tomorrow.

so how's ramadhan preparation coming up?
classes, exams, morever, ader yg kene breakfast dlm klas, hahaha..that happen to me last time masa posa bulan rejab and syaaban..all i had was a bottle of coke, and chewing gum..hehe..first time in history to breakfast in such manner, sedih!

well,..syukur that maghrib is around 4.30, since i'n the kind yg study untill 8 pm, so in between tuh, buleh la berterawih...niat baik ni, since last ramadhan i missed the last 3 days, i think due to jet lag and tak used to masa in US yet...baru sampai :)

so, this coming year, tak nak miss lagik since in 1996,1997,1998 tak miss terawih unless uzur syar'ie..paham2 la :P

but, tak bestnyer, semayang sorang2..hmm..camner aa?..since school days, it's kind of hard to get to masjid or get toghether with friends with different schedule to pray jemaah..sad la really,

what da ya guys think?

today is the last day for me to finish all the assignment before school start tomorrow. and i got german essay, lab report for physic, preparation for 2 exams and a group quiz..

and i got to work till 7 today

waiting for annoucement for fasting tomorrow :)

here i am today, foe the first time, learning how to use the univeristy library. the main libarary for IT students is temporarily closed, thus we have to learn to share with other colleges main lib.

my house is about 3 blocks from the medical lib ( where i am now ), it is big and has only one entrance from the front. and it has three floors. as a typical medical lib, it is full of journal and books and shelves.

the thing that i just realized today is, this journal need some spelling and grammatical check!...

finally i'm using my gramma not for my class, but just for fun!

my legs are all tired, i just got back from thanksgiving shopping, huh, there were so many many people today out there. it;s like they have been waiting all year long just to wait for this day to spend all their money on clothing, electrical appliances and anything they can find on any mall. anthing at all. at best buy ( where all electrical appliances are the cheapest), the parking space was already full when we got there at around 7.15 am. all the RAM were sold out and printers are as cheap as 39.99. backstreet boys lastest album : black and blue were sold out too and there was only one mp3 player left on the shelve at 8.30 am...

at GAP you can find trousers as cheap as $ 7 and wool sweaters at nordstrom at the price of $8..

i guess that's why people are mad about thanksgivign sale, unfortunately ( fortunate for my savings ), i don;t have much mood for shopping today, i bought things that are only less then $ 10...i spent $ 40, rounded up on two trousers and 2 wool sweaters...

but abercrombie and fitch did not have much sale...

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well, time gi shopping tadik, kitaorg stop utk makan kat food court mall of america.
sblm tu terjumpa zaza ngan aza ngan izham..so kiterang pun decide nak lunhc skali.

well, since ari nei thanksgiving sale, so ramai sgt org kat food court tuh..susah sgt nak carik seat for 6.
me, hawa, zakiral, wira ( couple ) and faiz satu kete, aza, zaza and izham skali. derang gi naik bas pagik tadik

the purdue girls are hawa and zakiral or known as Ja, plus faiz and their senior...( the guy yg sangkut with my roomate
and end up staying with me the second nite they were here! and i wnd up writing hating journal that nite )

and so the makan story goes, we went to saperate places to find our own difference kind of food..

tanpa disangka-sangka, most of them end up eating chicken pepper!..and rice..
i was damn surprised!..igtkan sumer tak makan ayam katok( ayam yg selain yg di beli dari kedai ayam halal )
..haha, i was wrong..

anyway, i am still confused over this matter..halal ker tak ayam kat US nie, ader org yg ardue, member board of USRDA and FDA
( jabatan pemakanan USA ), consists of2 muslims yg pastikan sumer slaughtered animals are made that all the blood shed out
just like zabihah ( halal slaughtered ) animals...

so, mereka2 nie setuju la yg ayam2 over supermarket and yg di luluskan USRDA and FDA nei halal, and US nie
really strict about food, so sumer restaurant kene guna only bend2 yg di luluskan by them..

and so, some of us end up eating at McD chicken burger and eating KFC..

i'm still confused though sbb arguement ni between org kater la, fatwa2 valid from different imam at different mukim

and my dad said it is haram, thus as a member of my family, kiter kene dgr cakap ayah as dianyer "fatwa" jer valid dlm family,

( susah jadik laki nie, i mean jadik ketua keluarga, if dia buat judgement salah, and all family dia end up buat aper yg dia suruh, byk dOsa dia!)

he said avoid la, selagik possible although i admit, i once eat it at one of my friend's relative house kat ohio sbb i thought he ate halal meat only,
...:(

and ed takleh judge derang salah, makan ayam tak halal nor can i say i am right sbb tader hal nak bagik hukum over this matter
since this is not what i'm specializing in..

any opinion?

after i got back from thanksgiving brunch this morning, nobody was at home. i remember zaza saying she want to go shopping with aza, but suddenly i remember the conversation i had with my labmate, " not many shops are open on thanksgiving, but K mart is there for you 365 days a year! "..and the purdue girls are going skiing today, i think.

or maybe they are running away from the mad lady :P...sedar diri sekejep..peace!

then i get onto the computer, reply all the mails that had been sitting there for the last few weeks to be replied. then geton going with my reorganizing thing ( my notes, my table )..and then noris called, asking what's the plan for tomorrow, and i said i knew nothing, tried my best to keep the voice low and steady..

nevermind, while jotting down my hw's, i called izham, asking for AEM class info, and then i tried 2 question regarding momentum and feel kind of lazy,

i pick a book given by my host this morning, it's about king arthur and the kingdom from the point of view of the witch..morgaine..
the good witch from the isle of avalon...i love reading fairy tales, castle and kingdoms, siap ader grimmss book of fairy tales collection lagik

after that, the phone rang again, awin was on the phone, he's bores, so we talked for and hour...then we hang up and here i am in front of the computer..bored and lazy feeling like garfield the cat...big and fat ..meowwwww!

allrite, finally, i think. i'm over it, i hope, which will be tested later in the day, huwaa, ed can you please learn to be patient for once now?

the temperature now is 28 F
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tetiba rasa lonely struck lagi, kali selepas ader member kat wisc citer pasal dia ngan balak dia ader prob.
well, seingat ed dulu, tuh la antara org yg di expect end up with one another, i guess not..

the way she explained it as if she doesn't care, but i know deep inside it hurts ( never experienced such prob)
oh well, this is another incident that make me feel i shouldn't give my commitment to anyone, not just yet..

suddenly rasa nak talk to someone, tapi saper? nak call mak, derang keje skang, nak call lina, ed tak sure dia ader ker dah gi wisc
plannyer sume org nak gi shopping esok sbb shopping time thanksgiving nie la byk sale, t shirt banana republic, dpt la usd 6.99, thats already darn cheap!
that's what Haenn, my labmate said, but the mall would be as pack as it can be la,..as everybody tried to get the best price..

k mart pun give away teddy bear and alarm clock for the first 700 customers esok, one day jewelleer kasik 50% kurang dari 60% price jewellery..
and bukak kul 6 pagik till late nite, just for thanksgiving sale..

so, tomorrow ed akan ikut geng dari purdue pegi shopping kat mall yg 1/4 mile length,
and buleh beli abercrombi and fitch!

haha..

guten morgen!
it's 7.53 am, and i am going to get ready for my brunch this morning,
good news!, i am feeling better today, which i kind of hope will last for at least today, or i will have to runaway again :) herkk..maybe not this time, we'll see :)

my brain is screaming fo glucose now, i can understand why :)
i had not had anything into my stomach for the last 7 hours of waking up, excluding sleeping time :)
aha...i am revenging against something and i am now trying my best not to eat and not to go home as late as i can. i am angry, i was or i am? i'm confused myself! or am i confusing myself?

i was so mad last night being left with somebody i only known for 2 days, along in my own house. where as everybpdy had the joy of escaping the responsibility as a host ( or at least a people living in the house, whichever is more appropriate )...moreover, he is a man! kind of hoping he is girl huh? WRONG!

i wrote a long pages containg my anger last nite and i don't care what anyone might say, because i amd the webmaster for his page, i have the power to mastermind this page!

gee.. woulnd't it drive you nuts, if you have to take someone else's responsibility and abandoning your own, till like 3 am? and you have physic lecture that morning at 9, and GOOD NEWS that tomorrow is Thansgiving holiday and this will be the final lecture before the exam next week!!! isn;t that amazing?????

and i really don;t feel like talking this prob to anyone cause my heart is still, i repeat , is still boiling over this matter and i don't think that i would be able to overcome this "feeling" untill i had my own time doing to my own thing, leaving everybody else with my responsiblity, this time let them feel what i have felt all nite long, from the time i got from work last nite ( around 7.30 untill 3 am ) DAMN!!!!

the list of things that i had lost within that 8 hours of time

1. the time to study my math
2.the time to study my physic ( my beloved, dearest subject! )
3. the time to ring up my host who will be picking me up tomorrow morning for thanksgiving brunch ( we will be having veggie's stuff, what da ya expect? )
4.the time to chat with lina ( she was on the net lastnite)
5. the time to sleep ( i have known my body fo the last 18 years ( or at least when i started to know it, i was 15 )..i need more than 6 hours to get a real fresh, good , handsome looking look in the morning due to my sleep!
6.the time to reorganize my notes and clean up my desk and reply some mails!

i will take as much time as possible to run away from coming home and eating meals, so that when i got back, i'll cook a nice spaghetti meal ( angel hair kin ) and i can eat them as long as i can, so that i can avoid talking thus avoiding me from saying bad things people,

huh!

heheh..here i am stuck with my roomate's fan..haha..should i know this better, that i left..

hehe...too late :)
nevermind...this is so me..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

huwaaa..............try bukak my own guestbook, takleh... nak nangis la nie!, eiiiii,hmmmmmmm..baca journal2 org lain. **tetiba rasa lonely :(................hmm....mmmmmmmmmm.....sedih!...nak balik kat mak skang jugak!..jeles la..ntah..bercampur aduk feeling skang, dah la tgh2 keje nie, duk sorang2..tetiba angin jiwang plak lalu, huwaaaa,.....sedih!..nak nangis kang, pelik plak patron ( gelaran utk pengguna library ) yg ader kat sini...hmm..apsal rasa camnie?..dah ler ed jenis type yg tak suka citer kat org, suka keep happy jer, biar sumer org rasa kiter happy w/pun kiter tak happy, in the end, kiter jer yg paham aper rasa jadik sedih..jgn bagik org lain rasa sbb ras sedih tuh tak best..

once my ex classmate yg just tgk me from far make a comment: ed dia periang orgnyer, tapi dia frank and kalau dia marah, main hambur jer..hahah so true, senang marah, tapi senang cool down, malah senang forget..erkk..including people's name :)

sedih lagik nie, lagik2 biler si mazeretti mention pasal raya ( ed selalu hang out on irc and OP for #restu and #atu2, carik la blueicecube kalau ader )..camner nie?

i tried to be tough, or at least to look like one tough girl..i want to be happy, or at least look like one, i hate crying in crowd, though i like crying alone, i want to be baik ( aper definisi baik, anyone? )..tapi cam not my standard jer...maybe not now..maybe sometimes, somewhere along the way, i'll be what i want!

today is sunny day and sunglasses day for me. here in minnesota, students always keep their sunglasses in their backpack all the time. because here we use it twice a year, summer and winter...here the winter is sunny and too bright, the white snow reflects the sunshine causing the extra whitening surrounding. making the fair me ( perasan jap! )..became more and more fair!

this journal will respond to sera question about my job

students in united states is used to working and studying at the same time. when i fisrt get here, i was surprised too, how can one managed between working and studying?. and i end up being one of them.
here at the u, whereever you go to, any offices, any department, any place, you will see student being the cashier, the janitor, the clerk, the reception desk, the waitress, the gym instructor, the lifeguard, the security guard evenn..are all made up from students here at the u itself.

so here i am now, working as the student library assistant, here at the learning resources center at the U, where our collection consistsof videos and audio cassettes for learning usage. but ader gak movie cam my best friend wedding and bwn hurrr ( my vater favourite movie ! )

basically, the skill u have to work here at the U is, computer, mac or ibm, and some internal system like me, i have to learn the U library circulation/ catalog system, commincation skill, answering phone and doing general jobs ( but no making coffee and lobbying the boss! )...coffee are made at coffee maker..thanks you!

we are paid every two weeks, and every two weeks our check will arrive at the office or it can also be deposited directly to our bank account. and for international students like me, who are holding f-1 or j-1 visa, we can only work 20 hours per week. so now i am currently working 9.5 hours a week with 16 load of academic load. not bad la...still cam survive

wages here are high, i am paid $8 every hour, depending on the U, but U of M ( the school i am attending ) pays quite high compared to my other friends' school. that means i am paid RM32 per hour almost ( and all i do at work is updating my journal and chat and do school work! )....it is a good place to start saving.

i think that's it

aaa.....today hawa ( my schoolmate since primary school ) is here from purdue University, she got here this morning and going skiing this friday. we had been friends since standard 4 and get saperated when she went to MRSM Jasin and i went to KISAS instead, i got MRSM Jasin, but chose not to go, for distance reason!

here at the state, me, hawa, suria and zaid, used to be in one school in bangi. and again, we met here for our college...there is about 10 bangians that i know studying here at the states!..

dunno why but Bandar Baru Bangians seem to be everywhere. in ireland, i got 2 schoolmate studying medicine. we used to be in the same class while we was in form three...

i heard bangians are growing everywhere!..good, my mom would be glad to know some of her freinds is watching me, hehehehhehe

alhamdulillah, today is full of energy day, and i did not fell assleep in any class today ( baru dua jer pun )...anyway, last nite i couldn't sleep, and i spendt my nite chatting with fara ( student in univ of urbana champaign , illinois )...

we talked about few personal things. i really like this girl, even though we just met once, masa dia dtg minne lawat budak2 laki scholar TNB kat sini...they all just drop by for one nite and off they went to park yg ader carved kepala2 president US tuh, alamak., lupa plak nama dia...( dah igt dah, Mount Rushmore! ) kat south dakota...

she is really nice. anyway, she was associated ( somehow) with our male companion here, pyan :)...and so he story goes..that's it for tis morning, later!

today is sunday, and today is lazy day. chris ( my supervisor at work ) is coming to pick me up at 2 pm for shopping!...she is worried that i might not survived this winter with my decent, wool, blazer. she made me bought a new thermal underwear and today she will make me buy a new better, warmer coat.

erkk.. i woke up late today, as last nite we when to buy our groceries at Cub foods with abg ghazali and wife dia zie. after that we wenet to one of the somalian restaurant and has our dinner there. abg ghazali is the converted american man who worked at m'sia in eth last 10 yeras. now he had came back here for better living as the economic downturn. he is now an architect for wal-mart. heheh, klau jln2 ngan dia, sure bercerita pasal archietecture nyer topik...but he is an alim man ....:)

erkk..ader sesaper buleh ajar on hwo to put a picture ( photo ) in this blog?

allrite. american friday nite....what did i do?..i was about going to bed when shazlan gave me a call......and we talk, as usual, more than 3 hours :)...i cried for the second time in while talking to him..he panicked ..

oh, well, we were talking about me and my jew companion, war in palestine and girls and tudung, music in Islam and real life muslim lifestyle...and suddenly he raised his voice :(..i was upset.because i felt he was angry with me..and i know that lan is not the type that marah easily ...

and so me with my sedih thing and him with his blurred somewhere ...oh well. that's my best bud..and then this morning..( i slpet about 4.30 last nite talking to lan since 11.00 pm with some break from 12-1 )...azlina called, we talked for about 2 hours and she had to go and get her lunch in the cafeteria before it closed ...

my best friends

when people say that friends are little marbles that you carry always in your life, i felt as if i found mine. my two marbles are the one that i found during on of the best year of my life. i did not really recognize when i started to carry those two marbles, suddenly all i know, is that they are there when ever i need them ....

Azlinawati Munajat

my best girlfriend since last year, exact date i'm not so sure. sedar2 lepas tuh we hang out together, everyda niet at 11, lepak dpena pondok pak guard study calculus sama2, and then after midnite, pekene neslo ais ( yum yum ) kat gerai belakang kolej siswa PPP/ITM...and then chat2 untill 2 morning....on friday afternoon afterclass, we took the commuter and lepak at Sunway Pyramid and then go back to her house in kelana jaya, sometimes, split off kat commuter and went home..untill now, we keep calling each other every week, ikut turn la...and so we together build the singles club :) this year , we met 4 times, chicago the lastest, mccormick state park utk program malaysian islamic society of north america, midwest games in purdue and when she came here for the fisrt time during our spring break :)...that the first time i saw her after 4 months we came here to the state...
she used to be the nerd in her school ( MRSM PC )...heheh...but she is really different now. she's cute and nice...a very good listener and best bullied too!

Shazlan Anwar

together we do community services as ATUSA ( AMerican Top Universities Program Student Association ), for a project that cost us 3 months time with a local primary school ....and we discovered that we live closeby, learn about our family and his girlfriend, became the most two legend friends who are predicted to be the best couple og the year if we change from friends to extra friends :) forget it guys!!!...we fight all the time, and we call each other once a week too...but it has been a year since i last saw him ...next year, me and azlina planed to go to his place ( ader disneyland and ala... yg ader history hollowood)..visit Mickey Mouse and him....after we got back from london to visit lina's uncle :)

one thing about lan : he always forgot i am a girl and i am a teenager, he alwaya see me as a kiddo!

allrite, these are the two most trusted people after my parents to my life..

welcome to my world...

last weekend little arguemrnt still ran in my mind, one reason why i got headache and fever!

my german and spain companion was asking me why muslim women have to cover their head and man don't. from the on i started my gathering fact and opinion from all over the sources i can find , just in case next time someone else insult me like that :)

so here are some thing i found rather more decorated in words ( the capability that i don;t have, my mom always remind me to take some communication class, she says that's my weaknesses point , thank Allah i am not taking anything that got to do with mouth and words! )

well, a muslim woman who covers her head is making statement about her IDENTITY

anyone who sees her will jknow that she is a muslim

and has a good moral charactter

many muslim women who wear cover are filled with dignity

and self esteem; they are

pleased to be identified as a muslim

woman.

as a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her

sexuality to enter into interaction with men in the smallest degree

well.. that's is my humble opinion..

simple but may include both natural features of a muslim moman.

from scf point of view..

one may say the the UV light from heat of the sun.. may give bad impact to the

structure of hairs

we have to include sfc arguements

like the UV light thing

this is what i gathered from #taqwa on mIRC....to be continued :)

ok, for the first time in this fall semester, i walked to school with noris, my other roomate than zaza. usualy me and zaza, we cycle to school, but since the snow started to fall down, we decided to walk to school because we began our class at the same time same place every day. however, today the physics lecture was canceled ( usually we have our FAQ physics on friday )....

noris just went to an eye exa last wednesday. she is going to wear a new colored contact lens next week, honey colored!!!

hahaha..i've been thinking to wear colored contact lens as soon as my "normal" lense finished..baru jer pakai CL, just anout 3 months now, and here wearing colored lens tu takder ler big deal as in m'sia, since warna biasa mata pun mmg tak sama...and dah jadik trend kot pakai lens for different eyes, different color..hahah..cam pakai stokin sebelah kaler kuning sebelah kaler putih kalau socks ilang :)

alhamdulillah, finall i'm feeling fine although a little bit dizzy still.
today is cold. snow is about 4 inches outside, and walking on snow is like walking on a very fine sand, and there is a squeaky sound when you move your steps. the thing is, when the temp increases and the snow melt and then it froze again, the puddle of melted snow became small ice skating area, if you have the wrong shoes, you'll slip off few times on the road :)

another thing is, when cars passes by and the puddles on melted snow ( puddle of mud actually ), splashes on your coat. ahah, imagine how beautiful you can be... and this is no love story: when the driver will stop and say sweet things to you and buy you new clothes : enough crap!

well, i did manage to hand in all my hw on time, haha, except that i did not mention i skip all the last question by just giving the set up and leave the question like that :)....hope they won't mark those

tu la suspennyer, hantar all hw and dia akan pilih 2 or 3 hw jerk...so, kene try sumer yg terbaik...camtuh la...

skang dah sihat and server pun tak buat hal. zaza tgh pilih klas utk spring sem sbb dia ader appointment ngan advisor esok, mine next week..

uwaaaa..i feel like crying even more, i did not do very well in my aem quiz today, hmmmm

i guess life has its own ups and downs. my physics exam last week turn out to be great, something i did not expected be'cos there is one question that i thought i screwed up and it turn out that i scored that one full mark!

anyway, congrats to anas for being the best student, and to sera, is it really hard to get hooked up? and last but not least whoever read this journal and knew what is dr shafinaz journal online web add, pls write it out to me

my fever is still here, and i believe that it's going to be here for a while...takper..sakit pengurang dosa kan?..
regret gak la gi fairmont last weekend, tapi peluang tu just datang skali jer, tak sure mana lagik penting, full mark dlm quiz aem ker carik pengalaman di negara org :)

finally, baru buleh access my blog. i wonder is it my Univ server or was it the blogger.com server..

anyhow, i am not feeling very well today, i got feverish! and i hate my non stop runnning nose...isk..isk..isk..these are the times i feel that not coming here is a very good idea...

tomorrow is my aem exam, 2 homeworks are due on thu , phewwww!..what a week!

wish me luck despite my cold!

here i am in a high school in faimont, minnesota-iowa border. it's really not like high school that you see on TV or in movies. the school os big and has two wings. they eat in the cafeteria during lunch and their cafeteria looks exactly like borading school dining halls ( talking about past experriences!)

their class is such that they were in different class every period. they have 7 periods a day from 8 untill 2.30 tih lunch break around 11-12. i spoke in two class already now and i have one more to go. the students are polite and surprisingly they don't asked that much questions. but i think they are really nice kids here. i provoked them to speak and give opinions and try to get them to talking, and i did make to that. i feel not much differences because they are about my age ( 17-18).

well, today is my second day here and i really like this place

i forgot to bring extra tudung from home, and my host got this big scarf from belarus russia and gave two for me to keep!...and i had a massaage from this lovely lady who happen to be livign closeby..wo, what a wonderful weekend i had

i share this hoest with a girl from spain and another gal from germany. i had the time to litsen to nativer germany spekaing the language as the lady eho gave the massaage just nwo was from germany too
okies
till then

hahha..

who says host housing doesn't have computers? well, here i am on firast day in fairmont, in my host house, having a wonderful time ( except that i can't speak any malay here! )

hmm..we are going for chinese restaurant tonite, so i think it's going to be a great weekend,

we had alittle discusiion thi afternoon regarding islam and other religion adn plaestene and such wow alot more to write but got ot go

haha...

you guys won't get any update about myllife this weekend untill monday nite, i'll be leaving for fairmont ( pn border of iowa and minnesota ) for school international program where i will be send to a host familiy, give presentation in 4 - 5 schools introducing mesia to them..

i like the job, it's free traveling, free accomocation, and just do some little work on promoting my country...it's easy life!

last night my apartment fire alarm went off.....it was a schocking experience for me as i never went of any kind of emergency before..

it was 1.30 in the morning, i was sleeping after i had enough of physics ( i got an exam today morning )..and suddenly the smoke detector went off..and more scarier, the alarm that went off was exactly situated in front of our door!..

and me, noris and zaza decided to go out and check what other people were doing...most of them are out and ready with their jacket to go out of the building

then three fire engine plus a police car came, they have to block the entrace to the I -($ highway ( my house is ecatly next to the main highway)....seram giler when we all saw the firemen masuk with azxes and ladder into the building, they all suspected the boiler rooom in the laundry room was on fire, but the problem was the caretaker, the only person who has the key to the room was not there...

and for about 45 minutes we all were freezing outside waiting for permission to get in in our pijamas...
then the firemen chief ( i think) came and told us what actually triggered the smoke detector, it was the overburned fuse on the corridor nyer lampu...huh!

lega!..however, i was sleepy this morning when i was doing my physics due to the lack of sleep..what anexperience, cam 911 pulak, ishh..pengalaman betul!

still no final decision of who is becoming the US president. we are all waiting for the recount vote for florida which had made 5 major newspapers have to reprint their morning edition and most national TV to cancel their interview with bush and have to make up their mistake for annoucung the election result...

i got my physic group quiz this morning. we have 3 people in a group solving for one hard problem which will contribute about 25 points from our total indinidual quiz marks...in one semester, depending on teh class, physics courses have at least 3 quizes, ( mine got 4 this semester ) and 1 two hour final exam, and 2 course evaluation at the beginning and at the end of our courses...i'm currently taking my second physics course, and no , physics is not my major!

tomorrow i got the individual quiz and we are having islamic cultural bazaar tomorrow. our MSA ( muslim student association ) most varsities in the states have one on each campus...is having malaysian cultual exhibition over in moos tower...we are having some videos, baju kurang, baju melayu and pictures from m'sia,,,

mesian population here is baout 50 people, mostly are fammilies working here, and after my senior leaving next year, all left is 25 ( i think ) of us, 4 gals and 21 boys...urrgrgrggrrggrgrgrgrg...i hate that!

heheh.some notes:

the word abercrombitch = abercrombie + fitch ( i like the brand, their outfitters are comfotable, but it is really irritating to see so many people wearing the same brand, it's like it's cheap when it's not! )...

i got one corduroy i bought from their outlet in the biggest mall in the US...ten bucks, the normal price : 53.60 huh...

:) ...:)

haha

yesterday was the election day and snow day, ( ekk...this does not mean no school! )....well, last night the tempt drop below 0, so, all the melted snow became frost this morning...and it's hard to walk if you are not wearing the right shoes....

10 thing i hate about winter

1. it makes ur nose running
2.it makes ur ears "fragile"
3.it makes my eyes watery
4.you have to wear many gears before going out
5.my cheek burned
6.my skin became dry ( like gator! )
7.you will hate waking up in the cold morning leaving the wam bed to go the shower
8.everybody walk fast
9.ur fingers becoem numb if you don't have glove
10.it's damn cold!!!

hmm...little review on yesterday's election:
bush and gore are very close to one another depending on electoral vote yesterday, however, at time of press release, two more state has not finished counting their electoral vote, thus leaving us today with the decision who is goint to be the president..

check news for better update

as soon as i left the computer lab after i updated the last entry, it was snowing lightly outside...and now it is snowing constantly and heavily. snow started to accumulate on the ground and on the grass..the little squirel all around campus is starting to pack up for the coming winter and running here and there to colect their last meal

girls' cheeks are getting red and smoke started to came out from everyone's breath...most people would be seen in their columbia winter jacket and jansport backpack, the two most famous brand for coats and backpack....their abercrombie and fitch shirt and pants are no more seen...( the famous brand here in this U ) during "normal" temp anywhere between 2 - 40 c.....and the carlson ( school of bussiness ) students are suspected to be the most loyal customersof the abercrombitch :P....remember the lfo song girl of summer?

well, tak sangka , i've been here for my second winter, setahun sekejap sgt, hmm..and i got 3 more yeras to go before i graduated from this u...

heheh...welcome to minnesota ( II )

aha..finally sera mula menulis semula setelah pulang ke kg, hmm...this morning is cold, cold sgt, more over is has not stop raining since yesterday, so add up to the wind chill factor and the temp it self...

and now i began to wonder why in the first place i chose to come here, the ice box of US, huh ,
no use crying over spilt milk!

more troubles, i am a natural born choleric ( tyes of personality from florence litteur's book titled personality plus )...and made a new enemy today...OT as we called him, emailed me as his respond to my comment on atu2000 egroups, wow, that's a full critical critic..cam salah jer nie..

anyway, i wonder when i can start changing from being a natural choleric to a better choleric

let me tell ihr ( you guys in german) briefly about this book: kak har ( Dr Harlina ) she is now a current dr working in HUKM came here last summer and stayed here for few days, we talked a lot and she suggested that i read this book cos she said " it would have been better for me if i read this book when i was ur age"..and so i did..

according to the writer, there are 4 types of personality in this world. sanguine, the life of the party, choleric, natural born leader, phlegmatic, the follower and melancholic, the detailer...more or less, each and every personality type has it's own strength and weaknesses..

and i have mine and you have urs..

erkk..the last two lines is derived from the fact that zaza wanna see what i can do with my blog..hehe... i'm promoting it, rite!...
atu2 students now are fighting with atu1 regarding salam thing and palastein thing, derang suka bother about our bussiness, bukak la egroups sendiri, nak join atu2 yg 96 people ni plak, ntah2 aper..tak matured langsung.. for some stupid reasons, i hate when they do that..always..

i dunno, but funny how people who label themselves pious can be so annoying when it comes to da' wah..gilernyer sakitkan hati

skang tgh layan shazlan, just now gayut ngan azlina, my best bud kat purdue U, amik IT ngan wildlife minor, she loves animals and nature ...
shazlan as crazy as he is, but as nice as he treats me, is my best bud too...erkk..no bf, dianyer gf kat mesia, my junior....so tader canla...eventhough he knows that i like him like crazy, tapi we remain best bud, too close, like twins..dia jauh sgt..florida nun sana...amik pun course yg pelik, technical engineering, aircraft maintanence technology..so we remains friends, since dia ader commitement and ed pulak tak nak couple..so the stories goes..

now my heart, almost fell for my ex classmate..haha..tapi tu pun satu lagik yg tak fall for couple things, amazing!

erkk..my secret identity..erkk..anyone reading this, know the fact..now you understand why i hang out with atu2 basketball team most of the time, although i'm not into sports :)

zaza says hi to the world!

zaza says hi! to the world!

today i called fatiha after more than a year we haven't speak to one another,
an hour and a half!.
gosh, we missed one another badly, heheh, i miss half prt of her life after i left KI..can never imagine, what she had gone through, she had gone through so many things. after she went to USA representimg m'sia for INTEL invention competition, she ahve to do her best ( writing essays..blah blah..)
for competing as tokoh puteri islam ..and yes, she got that title. tokoh puteri islam kebangsaaan, man!.
i was so proud of her achievement without knowing that she suffered befroe spm. she told the whole thing over our conversation juts now and she is still shaking whenever, she tell anyone about her nightmare being perfect in everybody's eye..heheh..susah rupanya jadik idola org nie, tak sangka plak dia yg di pandang perfect
tu memandang ed yg ntah aper2 ni as idola dia, ekekek i kept repeating to her on how i am not the rite person, but she made believe i'm worth something, THANKS A LOT SIS TIHA!..

ntah rasa funny since dah berabad tak bercerita, suddenly we can talk for an hour non stop, huh, how i miss her, she is still my idol and i'm stil her idol, weird huh? saper tak admire, tokoh puteri islam pastu berjubah and bertudung labuh since akil baligh, wakil mesia reakcipta sains ke US , perghhh,
i'm way far behind!..who am i?..erkk ..not again!

i am who i am, i am the Ed , Nadhra Halig, and not so sure what is after that..help please :P

hari ni nak cakap melayu jerk..jeles ngan org2 yg bukeh tulis melayu fully....arghhhh..since duk sini, tak penah cakap melayu fully, tgk, dlm journal ni pun ader BI kang masuk german lak, viel skang amik german sebagai 4th language, bagus tak?..

anyway, rayau la webpage yg linked ngan page sera, perghh....sumer2 page tuh power2. content sumer cool abis, ishh, ras sedih pulak tak reti buat hp ni, cam nak mewajibkan diri belajo buat hp jer lepas nie,

dahler unic ni bebas amik subjek yg tak related to major..:)..so amik system architecture ngan java ngan aper2 la lagik yg buleh menolong ilangkan rasa inferior terhadap m'kat mesia yg lain heheheh

anyhow, i wonder if there is people reading these, if yes, rajin2kanla respon tu my mailbox ...skali ed cakap nie with myself jerk :) malunyer ( blushing sat )....adra1998@hotmail.com

yesterday i spent one hour talking to awin , he got bored , he rang me up and we end up on the phone for about an hour, isn't ridiculous? when we are actually will be seeing one another for the next 3 years, consecutively, and we can talk that long !..

he is wanted alomost everywhere, pelik how you can be with someone who is special to many eyes and but yours,,...weird huh?

erkk..this morning, i woke at 5.18 whereas subuh is 5.28, so i laiad down and woke up again at 7, having no strength to continue the day, and feel back assleep : result: i have to qada' my morning prayer!..shoot!!..arghhhh..for the thousands times, i'm angry to myself, pls, don;t repeat this mistakes..

whateva!

tonite zaza ccok nasik lemak, hehe, the mesian favourite food for breakfast and all around the clock everyday...

miss all the roti canai stall, nasik lemak stall masa kat m'sia, and now i'm way far from there..:(..nak balik!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tader saper2 lagik like me ker? away from home writing ..on a strange hp by strange people..erkk..hope that if blogger admin readt his they won;t go mad :P...

anyway, all this will be over by 2003, just have to be patient by then..rite?????

tag!

today is cold, i finally got over my aem exam, huh! ..glad!

today more major news, my friend used to be classmate, likes me..he confesses today and not expecting we to be a a couple, wow, i'm impresses, i thought guys usually will fall for that one..ahhaha..but not this guy!..man ..

he says he will wait, and i have to wait too..tak percaya ader org dlm dunia nie minat ed yg nakal and jahat nie

eh kene blah, since i got meeting with my TA