masa-masa begini
lagi seronok kalau
org yg kita sayang ada di sisi
ada teman nak berbual
meluahkan fikiran
sbb masa-masa begini
all we need is one good companion
that we enjoy

masa-masa begini
barulah terasa menyesal
errr..better not
use prefer in the past
to open up and get access
( in another simplified word * .... *)
yealah
*no one wants to be lonely, nobody wants to cry*
hehehhehehh

masa-masa begini
bukan nya masa siang
bukan juga waktu orang berjaga
tapi di tengah malam
munkin apa yg perlu cuma
masa sendirian
masa menulis?
masa mencari
pengetahuan yg tidak mungkin dapat di cari
di masa-masa biasa

masa-masa begini
all we need is our own self understanding

mata ini
tidak mahu lelap
hmmmm...nantikan sesuatu?

* life is too short, don't spend it with people you don't enjoy *

woke at 6 ( awal kan? )
found that my throat is swollen
and it was hard to swallow my saliva
(gulp )
drink water
more and more water
and my hearbeat was like racing

then went to sleep
suddenly felt so hott
and remove the comforter
and still hot

woke up
and feel like want my mommy here

i caught a cold!!!
isk isk isk
want my mom
here and now!!

*suffering from swollen throat
unstable mind
and still hard to swallow saliva*

isk isk isk

diary = where imaginative life != real life
blog = where realf life HAS to be = real life ( plus some additives to make it flavourish)

the Differential Equations and Linear Algebra SUCKSSSS!
big time
all the calculations was tediuos and LONG
at least 2 pages per questions
and 3 pages for one questions
heck, it was worst than Midterm 3 which we can take home last time

well
done is done
one more finals
C++

thinking about food all the way now
pineapple pizza anyone?

blues? no blues, greens and reds and yellowss..
and sea breeze and moutain dew and twinkling stars
plus hot chocolate and cheezels, yum yum

STOPP

no way
at least not this week
exam, 2 papers
then move out to the new apartment
then shopp
buy some stuff
( should i or should i not buy a new back pack? my zipp is broken )
then sleeppppp

then off to airport
chicago
montreal
gatewick

lina went to a leadership camp
so we can't plan anything now

work
till seven
but tonite
the dining hall is open till midnight
which means

study in the dining hall!!

sad an upset still i am
the blues from about 5 years ago is back
accountability is checked
and the result
is not something pleasing

i am totally giving up (again, sigh! )

why does some people get the privilege from life?

and why does some people have to suffer from minor things?

and why do we keep judging people?

why?

history background
----------------------------------------

1996 - PMR ( memory ekk? )
location - SomewhereSometimeSomeplace

imagine life
when the person sitting next to you suddenly move back
leaving you
the only person in class sitting alone
every teacher who came in asked
" why are sitting alone polan si polan?"
and i can only shrugged my shoulder
like a plintiff in court
wasn't realy sure when the trial is over
when the judgement is going to stopped

during recess time
the punishment is not over yet
you have to eat your food by yourself
alone ( again, sigh )
and they
who did this
just looked away and pretend there is nothing wrong

when teachers started teaching
you are off on your own world
where only you exist
and no others matters

but once they are done
you are back to reality
and you walked home alone
wondering why they are treating you like this

no answers
nothing
just prayers and tears

year is over
the result is here
again you were attempted to think
so, how are they going to treat me again?

you name is called
then you are glad
that all the hardwork
was worth the while

and one by one they come
apologizing for the game they played
-----------------the end------------------------------
lemma:

and you never understand why
untill now
you are the one
among all people
among all students
to be the one to sit in the plaintiff chair

when the court ends
you win
but never understand what it is
that you did
make you to sit there and suffer the moments

while others
who obviously are the murderer ( of a soul )
are free to go
and fly high and get admired
and go through life
easier than yours

the question is
not life is fair or not
neither it is "qada' and qadar"
but why?
in the first place that people are like that

does that mean that YOU have to be like them too
in order to survive
and that they are right ( since they are the majority )
and you are living your life wrong?

---------------------------------------------------------------------

slept at 5 am last nite
tuh la, procastinate banyak2 lagi
padan muka
like or not
i forced myself to wake up before ten am
to catch my DE last class

my lips is bleeding
it hurts when i brushed my teeth this morning
it has been really dry lately

issues in my mind

*internship*
*medal*
*ceremony from MIC*
*summer travel*

seluar maroon yg terlalu panajng beli kat DC
where is it? i wonder

he did cook
heee ( me smiling from ear to ea )
seronok dapat dera org..

reza is here
i never mention anything abut him
just that if one day i wanna know who else is here
besides my best friend
it would be reza

anything else?
none
waiting for meeting of PERSISMA at 6
of maybe yung will come and get me here